Wednesday, December 11, 2013

Kanye West at it Again - Flies to Juba, South Sudan, for Mandela's Burial - not South Africa


 The Central African state of South Sudan was yesterday thrown into a frenzy with National Security Officers scrambling to the airport and public speculation spiraling out of control with rumors of a possible attack on the country's national airport, after an unmarked private jet touched down at Juba International airport. The airforce scrambled private jets and the filled the tarmac with military Police as the lone jet finally came to a final halt. Sources on the runway have confirmed to us that as soon as the airplane door opened, it took about 5 minutes for anyone to come out of the plane.

5 minutes later, a lone passenger disembarked with the biggest smile on his face - it was none other than Kanye West. Another Source informed us of how Mr. West then proceeded to walk down the stairs and kiss the tarmac before he screamed out loud for how happy he was to be in the motherland. Before he could finish saying motherland - a group of over 12 security guards grabbed his and whisked him away for serious security grilling.

After about 30 tense minutes, an angry Kanye West walked out of the airport building - only this time he wasn't wearing the same smile he disembarked his private jet with.

Close Security sources have notified us that they let Mr. West go after they realized he had simply landed in the wrong city, in the wrong country. "He needs to be in Johannesburg, South Africa and not Juba, South Sudan, these Americans do not know anything about Africa, so he just got onto his aeroplane and came here, thinking Mr Mandela is to be buried here. They are just ignorant sometimes." said a senior Immigration oficer. Mr West was supposedly on his way to attend the burial of the recently passed South African political icon, Mr Nelson Mandela even though he was not invited. In his defense, he stated that he was entitled to be at Mandela's burial because of the same stature of greatness that they share. When asked why he ended up in South Sudan, he simply said he told his private pilot that he was going to a country in Africa with a city that starts with the letter J. His pilot simply knew that he was going to a country in Africa that begins with SOUTH - So with as little research as possible - they headed off to Africa and ended up in Juba, South Sudan instead of Johannesburg, South Africa.

After news of Kanye's glowing ignorance made the rounds across the city - business went back to normal as he was seen walking around the city mumbling to himself and constantly on his phone.

This goes down as a real Kanye West super fail in his seemingly unending quest to top his last ignorant moment.

He has since left South Sudan but we can only hope he is not headed to South Korea where he will meet up with a bemused Sarah Palin.

3 comments:

  1. He should come back next time to perform live in south sudan (Juba).we wish him well.

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    1. Mr west i think u are the last man on earth....let 2pac come back and show you all the way. I didnt know you are such a dumb ass nigga

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